It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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