Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There's always time for handjobs
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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