No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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