We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
