you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize