Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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