what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
