I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
