I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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