so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
