From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
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