If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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