First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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