Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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