Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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