OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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