THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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