Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He did a backflip because drugs
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
