Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize