i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i out mim tonsoeep
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
