let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
