I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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