remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
