I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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