I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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