Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Even my vagina gasped.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
