I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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