I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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