I am in a vortex of obligation.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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