i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
