I could have mohawked her pubes.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
