you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
