there's paper in my vomit.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
