my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Someone came in the potted fern
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
