She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
