I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
