never play flip cup with pint glasses
what day is it and did you see me today?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
