Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
