i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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