I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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