If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
