So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
