I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
