this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
