I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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