I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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