girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
