Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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