Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
