we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
