You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
