that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You are a genius and a whore.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
