I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
