dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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