Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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