She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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