Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
