alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
