Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
